A recent news segment highlighted the growing trend of parents continuing to financially support their adult kids — a phenomenon now widely referred to as the “Bank of Mum and Dad.” What stood out was the extent to which some parents are still footing the bill for things like mobile phone plans, utilities, car payments, and even rent, long after their children have moved out.
Opinions on this vary. On one end, there are parents who believe that once a child becomes an adult, financial support should end. On the other, some continue to cover nearly every cost, treating adult children much the same as minors. Most families fall somewhere in between.
This raises an important question: What is the right level of support to provide without taking away opportunities for independence?
A Case Study: Earning and Spending with Responsibility
One family recently experienced a significant moment of financial maturity with their eldest son. After earning his P-plates and saving diligently for months, he chose to use his own funds to purchase his first car. The decision was entirely his, despite having the option to receive help.
This moment was more than just a car purchase. It reflected a sense of pride, ownership, and responsibility — values that are best developed through personal financial management, not through handouts.
Support or Sabotage? Finding the Balance
Parents naturally want to give their children what they never had. However, overindulging can sometimes prevent young adults from developing essential life skills. Struggles — especially around money — can be some of the most valuable experiences. They teach budgeting, discipline, and a deeper appreciation for the value of money.
For those whose children have recently moved out, it may be helpful to consider scaled support — perhaps covering one bill while encouraging financial responsibility in other areas. Advice, encouragement, and mentorship can often be more valuable than financial assistance.
What’s the Right Amount of Help?
There is no universal rule. Every family’s financial situation is different, and each child matures at a different rate. However, the key consideration should always be whether the support being provided is helping the child become more independent and capable, or if it’s inadvertently keeping them reliant.
The goal should be to raise strong, confident individuals who can navigate financial challenges — not to shield them from those challenges entirely. Independence isn’t built through comfort. It’s shaped through experience.
So before paying that phone bill or helping with rent, it’s worth asking: Is this helping them grow, or holding them back? Chat to us.
