George Clooney once said, “You learn nothing from success, and you learn everything from failure.” This sentiment echoes another powerful quote from Graeme Henry, the former All Blacks coach: “You learn more from a loss than you do from a win.” Both these insights shine a light on an uncomfortable truth—fear of failure holds many people back.
The Fear That Stops You From Trying
Most people aren’t held back by a lack of skill, talent, or opportunity. They’re held back by fear—the fear of failing. Thoughts like “What if I fail?”, “What if it doesn’t work out?”, and “What if people see me fail?” create a mental roadblock. This fear convinces people to take the safest route: to not try at all.
But here’s the reality: avoiding failure doesn’t protect you from it. Instead, it robs you of the chance to succeed. Fear of failure leads to missed opportunities, and worse, it leads to regret.
Regret: The Poison That Lingers
Regret is far more damaging than failure because it doesn’t go away. It lingers. As people grow older, the regret of not trying becomes heavier than any failure they may have experienced. The pain of knowing you could’ve done something—maybe even succeeded—but didn’t because of fear can lead to bitterness and resentment.
The Antidote: Trying Scary Things
So, what’s the solution? It’s simple but not easy: try things that scare you. The best opportunities in life often lie beyond fear. If your next goal doesn’t make you a little nervous, it’s probably not ambitious enough.
Here’s an exercise: write down three things you’re avoiding because of fear of failure. Now commit to doing them—one at a time. You’ll likely discover you’re much more capable than you ever thought.
A Personal Lesson in Pushing Through Fear
I remember running my first half marathon. It wasn’t the typical race experience—there were no cheering crowds, no water stations, and no finish line banner. I ran alone on the M7, starting at Camden Valley Way and ending 21 km later at the M4.
I didn’t train. I didn’t have water. My wife, who was supposed to meet me along the way, got lost. To top it off, I tweaked my back before starting. Despite all of this, I went for it. The run was gruelling, but I finished. And you know what? I realised marathons weren’t for me.
But here’s the thing: I don’t regret it. I tried. I learned something about myself. That’s the point—not every attempt will be a roaring success, but every attempt will teach you something valuable.
Avoid the Bitterness of Regret
Fast forward to 65, and the biggest regrets people have aren’t the failures—they’re the chances they never took. Not trying leads to bitterness and resentment. But trying, even when it scares you, brings growth, fulfilment, and wisdom.
Find the Right Mountain
Life is about finding your mountain. Some climbs will be hard, and you may discover the summit isn’t for you. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to avoid failure; it’s to keep climbing until you find the right mountain.
When you try, fail, and learn, you’ll build the kind of resilience and joy that sticks with you. And by the time you’re 65, you’ll look back and know you gave it your all, without regret.
Rise to the Challenge
Don’t let fear hold you back. Take on the challenges that scare you, and rise above the failures. Because when you do, you’ll find yourself at the top of your own mountain—living a life free of regret and full of purpose.
